Valve time

Soon after the development of Half-Life 2 began, Valve realized that the game (Which would have to be the best game ever) was going to take impossible amounts of time to complete. Doug Lombardi spear-headed a secret project known as Valve Time.

Victor Antonov, working with a team of MIT scientists, was able to develop a device to manipulate the space around the Valve offices, altering the flow of time within its field. This allows Valve to take as much time as they need to develop games, but causes confusion between the offices and the outside world as to release dates. To help solve this communications problem, a team of engineers have studied the Valve Time phenomenon and compiled the following chart:

Valve Time	Actual Time
Tomorrow	At 10:00 Pacific
Next week	In 3 months
Beginning in (next month)...	Beginning in the month after the stated one
Shortly	Sometime around next week (see above)
In the coming weeks	At a completely undisclosed time
We're finishing this feature up now	We've just finished the concept and we'll start working on it in the coming weeks (see above)
In the upcoming months	Never
Q1	The third week of Q2
[This year's] holiday season	Fall of next year
2003	2004
2006	Fall 2007
Until the problem is fixed with an SDK update, use the following workaround:	In our next-next-next-gen engine (when everything but our tools are broke)
When it's done	A month or two after just to be sure
When Team Fortress 2 ships	Coincident with the Rapture
Coming soon	When Duke Nukem Forever goes gold

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