CptStern

Captain Jebus Adolfus Hitlerus Stern is the first ever documented Canadian homo superious. Has has been documented as having a post with an efficiency estimated to be twenty-eight times that of the average homo sapien, while working, taking care of his seventeen children and pleasuring his wife, who is six times more attractive than Carmen Electra.

Stern’s hobbies include politics, setting world records for marathon running, being secular, Iraq, fighting crime, injecting rabbits with various substances and being better than you in every possible way.

Stern is the world debating champion. He can defeat anyone in an argument. There is no point in denying this; you will lose the ensuing debate. He once convinced Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick himself in the face after only a six post argument.

In events centralised around early March 2008 (but also occurring the throughout forum history, as well as future) an Incident known as The Ascension took place which saw Stern reaching 29,999 posts and having had them reset to naught.

Trivia:

• Stern is a direct descendant of the prophet Muhammad.
• Stern is better than you.
• Stern is the reason that Canadian crime rates are so low.